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How do men fall in love? 4 triggers, 8 signals & 10 tricks
We always suspected it: feelings work somehow differently in men than in women. But how? ! So read on and you will finally get an answer to one of mankind's greatest mysteries: How do men fall in love? And: can women actually help?
How do men fall in love? The 4 phases
How men fall in love is often a mystery to women, simply because they assume their own process of falling in love. According to psychological studies by the American couples therapist John Gray, women first look into Phase 1 on personality and the character of the man and then let yourself in Phase 2 emotional on him. Only in Phase 3 plays the physical attraction a role before a woman ends up in Phase 4 ready for a relationship is.
Opposite are the topic "How do men fall in love?" the following four phases:
Phase 1: Physical attraction
Evolution has programmed man to spread his genes as quickly as possible, so physical attraction is actually crucial first. In response to the visual stimuli, the brain releases the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine, and the man is now extremely interested. However, nature also intended that men spread their genes as widely as possible in order to secure their offspring. This means: Men fall in love faster than women - but keep an eye out for other women.
Phase 2: emotions
You get to know each other and if everything fits, feelings awaken in the man that go beyond enthusiasm for outward appearances. At this stage it is not yet love, but at least it is already a love Infatuation. Bravo, you are on the right track!
Phase 3: personality
Now it's getting personal: do you think similarly? Do you laugh at the same things? What about loyalty attitudes and plans for the future? Similarities and preferences are compared.
You can “smell” yourself in the truest sense of the word, because the sound of the voice and the smell of the person are also decisive for whether love can develop.
Phase 4: Desire for a relationship
The frequency of the dates is increasing, now the man is giving up a bit more of his life. The relationship becomes more binding. It's done. The man is in love and ready for a partnership. Happy ending and sunset included.
The good thing: men fall in love faster!
Do you think men are often less emotional? Numerous studies show that in the end it is women who tend to analyze situations and feelings too much and thereby withdraw too early from beginning relationships. Seen in this way, the process of falling in love with men is more tolerant and the sequence of the 4 phases leads to love more than with women.
Whereby one should not confuse love with desire: this feeling is often there very quickly, while both man and woman have to get to know their partner better for being in love to real love. And that is simply not possible in a few weeks.
Despite all the theory, it can be said: no matter who first went through the 4 phases and utters the magical sentence “I love you”, it is important that it is serious feelings acts that last a long time.
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Is he in love? Recognize the 8 characters
O.k., the four phases are done. They are now officially a couple. But a woman would not be a woman if she could now calmly indulge in the happiness of love. Is he really really in love? How do you know that? How does a man in love behave?
These 8 signals are at least a good guide:
- He only has eyes for you. You meet his gaze significantly more often than would be necessary for normal communication.
- He's looking for you near, also physically. From holding hands to brushing a strand of hair from his face: he doesn’t miss any opportunity to touch in everyday life.
- Look closely: researchers say that men in love often moisten their lips. A man's body language reveals a lot about himself.
- SMS, WhatsApp, phone calls and everything else that connects: it answers on all channels. Often. He can't spend his time better than with you right now.
- No matter what, he is patient, open, and sincere with you. The rose-colored glasses now plays into your hands!
- He rolls over with willingness to help. Suddenly even a total handicraft grumpy can set up a closet and a late riser is able to pick you up from the plane at 6 o'clock in the morning.
- He looks clumsy. Nervous handling, searching for words: the man is no fool, his hormones only get away with him. You drive him crazy. There you are!
- He introduces you to friends or family. Yes, the man is serious! Now nothing stands in the way of joint actions or plans for the future
Online or offline: how do men fall in love?
Couples therapist Alexandra Hartmann does not think it is possible to love someone as long as you only know each other from the Internet. Falling in love, on the other hand, is by no means unusual - the chances are even particularly good.
One disadvantage when looking for a partner on the Internet: when we meet someone in a bar, for example, we hear the sound of their voice and smell their smell - which is often more important than we think. "There are a few sensory channels missing in online dating."
But if you look at what we have so far on the subject "How do men fall in love?" found out, the online partner search offers a great advantage: the look, which is important for men in order to even start the process of falling in love, can certainly make the first spark jump over pictures. If there is sympathy in the first communication, there is a good chance that more will come of it.
New York social psychologist Katelyn McKenna found thatInternet relationships are more permanent than other relationships. She concluded that anyone looking for a partner online should not fall for external appearances and take the time to really get to know the other person. McKenna's research also showed that what people describe as their “true selves” is easier for them to express in e-mail contact with strangers than in direct conversation.
Make men in love? This is how it works!
Which woman has not yet wondered: Can you make men in love? And if so, how on earth?
We now have a few things on the subject "How do men fall in love" found out - now, of course, some tips can be derived from this, to give love a helping hand - without the magic potion that every woman has wished for.
The following 10 strategies increase your chances of becoming the woman of his dreams for the man of your dreams.
How can you win a man's heart? Our 10 tips.
1. Time together
Everything you experience together promotes bonding. Plus: you get to know him better.
2. Laughter connects
What movies does he like, what is he laughing at and can you share his humor? Laughing together increases the likelihood of falling in love.
3. Get closer to him
Incidental touches when dealing with each other promote the process of falling in love. Of course, discreetly and only when it fits.
4. Smile please!
No, you shouldn't shine like a honey cake horse all the time, but a real smile is infectious and arouses positive feelings.
5. Look me in the eye
Maintain eye contact as often as possible.
6. Awaken the hunting instinct
As banal as it may seem to you, choose something from your wardrobe that will make you attractive to yourself! Your positive charisma is then worth more than shoes that are 2 cm higher. It's not about model dimensions, but about emphasizing your personal, physical stimuli. And in all honesty, when you notice that he likes to look at you, you start to burst with charm all by yourself.
7. Give confirmation
Men like the feeling of holding the reins in their own hands. Of course, in reality, it's mostly the other way around, but don't let him know. Always make him feel like he has conquered you! And be generous. Men like praise. From opening the door to helping put on your coat: if he does something you like, tell him. You are also welcome to ask him for help in one thing or another, men like to prove what they can in this phase. A Win-win situation.
8. Live your life
Do not forget what and who is still important to you - and tell him about it too. Keep your balance and don't just adjust to it. This not only keeps him going because you are not always available, but also makes you authentic and strong. Which in turn will stabilize the relationship that will hopefully be created over a longer period of time.
9. Partners in Crime
Take his side offensively whenever you agree with him. That can mean that you agree with him in the conversation and that you say it very clearly, but you are also welcome to verbally support his complaint about the "corky" wine, for example. In this way, they promote a feeling of togetherness before it even exists.
10. Show confidence
Men appreciate straightforward communication. In addition, men are sometimes not so clear in their heads, especially in the phase of falling in love, so unmistakable messages help. Do not imply, speak out - the result will be more satisfying for both of you.
Did you know that studies have shown that feminine humor, a zest for life and a healthy sense of self are among the things men value most in a partner? So with all the hunting instinct theory - don't make yourself a bunny.
Conclusion: how do men fall in love?
Men and women fall in love in 4 phases. For men, however, the process is different. For you, physical attraction is the trigger, followed by feelings of the personality of the new acquaintance. Then it’s first the review of the similarities and the future ideas until the dating phase changes to the relationship phase.
Is a man in love? There are clear signs of this! Frequent eye contact, numerous touches, the desire for frequent meetings, the intensity of communication, great helpfulness and increasing commitment in dealing.
Men love to fall in love online. The first contact via pictures and the opportunity to get in touch via emails help the male process of falling in love.
How to win a man's love:
- Feel yourself attractive. The sensitivity to visual stimuli in men is one thing - the other is your self-confidence, which will be well received.
- Laugh a lot together, touch him with small gestures as a matter of course.
- Do not neglect your life.
- Let yourself be conquered, even if your heart has long been beating faster for him.
Do you feel like checking our theory? How do men fall in love? Put the test to the test.
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