Are humans genetically hardwired to hate battles

Mom blog -

Where exactly is the brain? Illustration of the Freudian image of men.

Yesterday a friend asked me what I was working on. I said, «I am writing a text about the male brain. " "Oh?" she replied. "I thought it was an 'urban legend'."

This is just a joke, of course. But it shows how inclined we are to consider what does not suit us as unimportant. This week someone on the blog asked for more thought about how relationships between men and women can work in the first place. Perhaps by trying to understand the other in their fundamental otherness.

And they are fundamentally different, the men, which has to do with their brain; so says the American psychiatrist and neuroscientist Louann Brizendine, who has just published the book "The Male Brain". In an interesting article on CNN, the scientist describes her most important theses about love, sex and the male thinking organ - in short, the neurological foundations that make men into men.

Many of their theses are more truism. That the male brain is an analytical one Problem solving machine is that men are aggressive and have the urge to move up in any hierarchy, while women are more emotionally strong, empathize better with others, read faces and non-verbal communication better. But it becomes interesting where Brizendine shows how these different dispositions lead to classic conflicts and misunderstandings.

For example sex. The brain region responsible for this is more than twice as large in men as in women and is stimulated during puberty with massive amounts of testosterone. That's why men don't think about anything else from adolescence and fantasize all day long female body parts. Then there is the visual orientation. The male gaze is constantly on the prowl, surveying the offer and assessing his prey, so Brizendine. Not because he's a primitive Neanderthals is, but because he cannot do otherwise.

We women shouldn't take this too personally. In contrast to us, who always think of security and reliability when it comes to potential sex partners, men are by no means calculating in their sexual interests, writes Brizendine. As much as they are attracted by feminine charms, they are quickly forgotten. That is, until they fall in love. And with that we leave the clichés and come to Brizendine's really interesting insights.

When male lust and love meet, then for the man, so to speak, hops and malt are lost. The male brain loves to fall in love just as much as the female one. And when it does, it binds itself even more strongly than the feminine. If the man meets the one and goes to bed with her, lust and love combine. The woman punches herself into his brain, so to speak, and binds him for life.

Yes, we work differently. While women feel loved when men listen and respond to them, the man feels loved when the woman wants and enjoys sex with him. But he doesn't like to talk about feelings. Yes, he even tries to hide them in conflict situations. While we women want to talk about things and show our feelings, the man immediately switches to analysis mode when problems arise. Many women mistakenly interpret this as indifference - but in tests show men show at least as strong emotional reactions as women. If, for example, a man remains silent to tearful accusations from the woman and does not seem to react, it is not because he would not be affected or even fearful, but because his brain is working feverishly to solve the problem. It's his way of showing love.

Of course, Brizendine's theses are generalizing and by no means explain the numerous individual manifestations of male and female forms of existence. But that's not the point either. It's about food for thought. For example, that we have to stop interpreting men's strengths as weaknesses just because the world is different for them. Men are men and they stay that way. And that's ultimately why we love her so much.

Also read: What you should love about a man in order to start a family with him.