How do you deal with condescension online

Sunday Issues Column : How do you react to condescending men?

"It amazes me again and again that there are men in 2018 who treat you as a woman condescendingly. To praise myself, I, the “young woman”, would have parked “badly” and probably “won” my driver's license somewhere else - such specimens stunned me. Should you give them verbal contradictions or just turn around on your heel? says you get a stomach ache. " - asks Karla

Unfortunately, really quick-witted reactions often only come to mind later. But it doesn't matter. Your gut is right when it tells you to react in any case. Please do not assume that a man has necessarily learned and internalized that he should get up when a visitor enters the room. There was a time when it was taken for granted that he should stand up when a lady entered the room.

I would still think he could stay seated when a young beginner, the intern or an old friend stopped by. But with an established colleague whom he doesn't know very personally, he should get up or offer her a place. If he does not, you could sit down in a free chair, for example with the note “I can, it is always better to communicate at eye level.” If there is no chair, you could choose variations on the topic “It is unpleasant to look down on you ”come up with.

While you should deal with colleagues in such a way that the rest of your working life in this company is not poisoned, i.e. as considerate as possible and not angry even when you are naughty, you can allow yourself to react more clearly to strangers who have gone wild. People who feel the need to lecture and discipline others, although they don't even know them, basically just want to vent their frustration and aggression off cheaply.

I would not classify that as "condescending", but simply as very miserable behavior. Badly parked is still better than going through life with a bad nursery. You should let the bad-tempered aggressors know that.

Please send your questions by post (Der Tagesspiegel, "Immer wieder Sundays", 10876 Berlin) or email them to: [email protected]

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