Wives who share fantasies spoil their marriage

Tripartite relationship; Love for three: Is the brisk threesome compatible with marital fidelity and a steady relationship?

Is threesome sex more of a man's fantasy?

Most men who dream of threesome sex see themselves in their fantasy with two partners. The desire to experience sex with a partner and another man is far less common. This is due, among other things, to the sexual competitiveness of many men - the idea that the other could be “better” can trigger fear of failure and loss and thus jealousy, which always stands in the way of a pleasurable experience.

Another reason is the common aversion to homoerotic experiences in heterosexual men. Quite a few have very narrow limits here - even the idea of ​​being so close to another naked and excited man that you have to touch it spoils the fun of fantasizing for some.

Heterosexual women are more flexible here: Many find it an extension of their femininity to come close to a woman during sex, or enjoy the idea of ​​pampering their partner together with another woman. Here, the much-vaunted female empathy basically meets the common male fantasies - but no man should blindly rely on that.

There are definitely women who would like the brisk threesome the other way around - as an all-round happy package for themselves and their partner. The idea of ​​watching one's own man having sex with another can stimulate women just as much as men can stimulate the idea of ​​four breasts, two mouths or the wife making love with a second lady.

Whether threesome sex gives the relationship a kick or a crack depends on the preferences and limits of the two steady partners - on their trust in each other, their expectations of the new experience and their communication. And once a couple has decided to try the brisk threesome, the practical implementation must also be discussed, planned and coordinated so that there are no misunderstandings or breakdowns.

What does the ideal threesome look like?

Both have to want such an experiment and be convinced that they can enjoy sex with their steadfast partner and one other person. If this basic requirement is not met, the ideal threesome will continue to take place in the realm of fantasy. There is still the possibility of incorporating it as a mental stimulus into the common head cinema: The mere idea of ​​a third partner can be very stimulating during sex.

However, when it comes to the actual experience, the couple must ask themselves specific organizational and technical questions, such as: B .:

  • Should the third partner be a woman or a man?
  • If both constellations are conceivable: should both be tried out?
  • If only one constellation is conceivable: Why is the other unthinkable? (This question helps to become more aware of your personal needs and fears of breaking new ground and to define the essential limits in advance.)
  • How well does the couple want to know the third partner? What lead time is allowed for getting to know each other better? What is important here?
  • When it comes to the point: where are the no-gos? How do you signal when the game is going too far?
  • Should the experience remain unique or is a repetition possible / planned if you like it?

Things get complicated when the desired third party is someone the couple already knows, such as a mutual friend or a good acquaintance. If the subject has never been brought up, it is very difficult to gauge the reaction. Openness is always good, but there is also a certain risk here: The courage to make someone an “immoral offer” can be richly rewarded as well as severely punished and quickly regretted. In the worst case, they will distance themselves immediately and look at the adventurous couple more suspiciously from a distance.